FMP: Presenting our rough cut to Saskia
Today we presented our rough cut to Saskia and many others who were also presenting. This was very nerve racking as I didn’t know if I could sit and watch it with so many others for the full length without getting emotional, but I managed to do it and we got some really good feedback and some pointers to work on.
Initially we were going to work on the edit a little based on some previous feedback before showing it today but decided to just go in with what we had as we might gain some more pointers on things we may have missed.
Here is the feedback we received:
* Terrific – really interesting, moving at times upsetting and resonating. Poetic
* A very real and touching conversation.
* good images and well shot, visually poetic and abstract
* repeat images, does this take away from it. Some of the images go on too long. Ie- wine glass
o If your premise is about pushing things visually, do you need to do something else at times?
o There’s moments of Cliché? You don’t need it- teddy bear head off, too easy, reflective wandering- tempted to dump it. Rope and pills.
* Thoughts on making it tighter:
o Running time! Cut it down a few minutes- it will make it punchier. You can still make it work.
o Have you included too much? You don’t have to: Look at it in terms of storytelling, you only need to tell a part of it- symbolically and representative.
o Lose repetition in shots (and points made in the narration). Consider pickups.
* Is ‘instability’ too on the nose? Could the title be more intriguing ‘I cant take it away from you’
* Sound levels- its quite heavy to take it all in, especially with the low levels
* Ending is great. Life affirming.
* Really interesting given the difficult subject.
* Be careful with including more conversation, as it will change the nature of the film.
A lot of the points are things we already know and working on but it was really nice to get some positive feedback and to show others what we have been working on and see their reaction to it.
One of the issues we had and asked Saskia about was whether we needed to add more of my voice in the piece at all to establish the relationship between film maker and contributor, and it was said that it was not needed as it was noticeable enough and if it isn’t people can take away from it what they will which is the point. I am happy with the feedback overall as the points that were made we already knew about which means there are only a few things to tweak in order for the film to be ready, however, there is one point I don’t agree with which is about the cliché images, as I think they work really well and help the audience piece together their own story as my contributor never actually says she has mental health issues and if these are classic images that something is wrong then good. I want people to notice that things are wrong and these images help push them in that direction.
We will be looking at this feedback and continue to rework the edit until we are completely happy with it.